Welcome to the menu you sneaky little minx.
We know why you’re here. Inquiry. Indecision. Dare we say…insecurity. We get it. We’ve been there. So, honestly we are here to ease your impending sense of dread and worry. Here on our menu page you won’t find a menu. Well, maybe, we just started writing this so honestly, too soon to tell! What we can tell you is we have something you’ll like: a cocktail that’s perfectly balanced, wine that’s perfectly balanced, beer that is perfectly beer. The thing is, you can’t tell what something is going to taste like by just reading it. You can get your imagination flowing for sure, but we don’t want to live up to your expectations. Don’t put that pressure on us. Don’t put that pressure on yourself. You deserve better!
We have everything you need and long for behind this bar. We can whip up just about anything your heart desires within reason. Here’s the thing, if you order a drink you don’t like, one of our highly trained bartending degenerates will drink it for you, then smack you in the mouth with a different delicious libation at no cost to you. Ugh, see what you did? You made me use the word libation all because you wanted to pre-determine your liquid intake destiny. Now I’m mad at you.
No..you don’t get to see our menu.
Stop scrolling.
There’s really nothing down here.
I do appreciate your persistence, but we are unflappable in this regard.
Here’s a POV picture of you.
Get it?
You’re following the tracks right down the rabbit hole.
Give up yet?
You should.
Go listen to My Lovin’ by En Vogue.
We’ll wait.
It’s 4 minutes and 9 seconds long so if you listen to the whole thing you will be in the proper mindset to come drink here.
Still no menu.
Never, never gonna get it.
The Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa part is the best part of the song.
Still here.
Fine.
Here is our menu.